Forget EVERY Reformed Charismatic…

…Oprah Winfrey is evil.  My wife and I were out on an “adventure date” today, which involved (among other things) stopping off at a thirft shop that was having a 50% off sale.  I got some good books and my wife got “wifely things” (i.e. cute things, fabric, baby clothes, books, a super cute plate for having tea, etc.).  I also got the March 2002 issue of Oprah magazine because:

a.  I’ve never read anything by Oprah

b.  It was the “happy couples” issue and I was curious

c.  It was $.20

So, it was far worse than I ever imagined.  I honestly don’t know why I was expecting something other than complete foolishness from Oprah “I hate the gospel, the Bible, and Jesus Christ” Winfrey.

What did I learn in the “happy couples” issue?

– The reason why so many people get divorced is because they get married before age 30 (pg. 154).

– Having a happy relationship involves learning to “let go of the demand that someone else should make you happy” (pg. 154).

– Computer-based projection models indicate that blaming your spouse for the problems in your marriage hurts your relationship (pg. 155)

– When it comes to fighting, “you can tell people to fight fair, to be nice, to be compassionate in the middle of a fight, not to be defensive – but most peple can’t do it.  You’re setting them up for failure.” (pg. 155)

– Listening to your spouse helps your marriage, and 83% of couples who listen to each other are happy (pg. 155)

– Snapping at your spouse with name-calling and insults hurts your relationship (pg. 156) [and some people need to go see a Tibetan monk to learn this…no kidding]

– Saying things like “I hate you” can really hurt your relationship (pg. 156)

– It’s important to learn that “69 percent of marital conflicts are not resolvable” and simply not try to solve every conflict (pg. 157)

-Physical violence points to a “terrible relationship” (pg. 157)

– Bitterness and resentment hurt your relationship (pg. 159)

– Bitterness and resentment can possibly be dealt with by enlisting the help of a mediator, an astrologer and a family therapist  who ultimately tell you to take a holiday alone (pg. 159 & 206).

-Lesbian couples can give “marital” advice even though they admit that their average relationship lasts 2 years and their best advice is “having two phone lines is critical!  And two bathrooms!” (pg. 164)

– If things don’t seem to work out, it’s probably best to get divorced (pg. 167)

– The purpose of marriage has changed in the last generation.  “Marriage used to have three purposes: legitimate reproduction of the species, orderly transfer of property, and family survival.  The purpose of marriage was not happiness, romance, intimacy, or personal fulfilment.” (pg. 167)

– “Love is a worldview and a set of beliefs” (pg. 208)

More or less every couple needs to learn to get along, have realistic (and low) expectations, listen when the other person is talking, not punch each other in the face, involve a myriad of psychiatric and spiritual “professionals” (and monks) in your relationship, afford yourself a whole lot of personal freedom to do whatever you want and don’t be afraid to throw in the towel.

Thanks Oprah.

Your marital advice sounds a lot like advice that we give to toddlers: “stop hitting each other” and “don’t call names”.

How about “husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…” (1 Peter 3:7)

How impossible do you think Oprah thinks that is?

Until Next Time,

Lyndon “I love the gospel, the Bible, and Jesus Christ” Unger

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17 thoughts on “Forget EVERY Reformed Charismatic…

  1. Hey Nodnyl, it’s Brad Wilton. I’m no oprah fan but I wouldn’t go so far as to call her evil. Like the saying goes, never attribute to malice what can be sufficiently explained by stupidity.

    • Thanks for your comments Brad!

      So if Oprah isn’t evil, is she then good or is the good/evil dichotomy a false one with “stupidity” being the morally neutral third option?

      I’m not sure I’m understanding you here.

      • well.. for starters, i’m responding in the context of an evaluation of the material you presented. I don’t presume to make this a discussion about her eternal destiny.

        Within this scope then, I would say that I fear we may be over-simplifying but if you want to put it into binary terms then sure, I’d say stupid would be the neutral middle.

        Look, I don’t endorse Oprah but I have a hard time ascribing evil to this sort of stuff. It’s not evil. Misguided & ignorant, sure. But not evil. Evil is Mao & Stalin & Hitler & Pol Pot. Evil is wilfully leading people towards their own destruction. This is just lame advice. Though I don’t think much of it, I certainly don’t consider it malevolent.

        Do you?

  2. For reasons a bit beyond me, I used to occasionally return to this website to read your lengthy ruminations, admittedly with a bit of a bemused smile. You’re significantly more right of center than me (and the Pope, for that matter….), but there was always some curious content, and you seemed to be someone with a depth of knowledge.

    However, after wasting three minutes of my life I can never reclaim trolling your strangely haphazard dismantling of a single Oprah magazine, I can say unequivocally that this will be my last stop here. It’s not that I disagree with your denunciation of what is certainly a trite view of marriage presented in the pages of her magazine, but rather it’s with the flippant application of the term ‘evil’ that belies a kind of thoughtlessness and inability to separate thinking for vainglorious and bellicose posturing. Your writing is arrogant and blustering in the best of times, but to devote an entire column to nothing more than the marital advice of a women’s magazine makes you a hairdresser, not someone we should waste our time reading.

    Best wishes.

    • Well, I can understand why you’d wonder why I posted the Oprah torch.

      The reason is as follows:

      For your very comment.

      I don’t get comments or even reads on lexicographical explorations, biblical exegesis, or even attacking difficult theological questions (all of which I vastly prefer). I get comments when I write about celebrities and events of popular interest…

      …and I thoroughly enjoy most of those comments. Yours was truly wonderful and I thank you for it!

      I’m wondering if you recognize that using the phrase “vainglorious and bellicose posturing” is, in itself, vainglorious and bellicose posturing?

      HA ha!

      That one outrecuidant and pontifical pronunciamento was worth the entire post!

      • “I’m wondering if you recognize that using the phrase “vainglorious and bellicose posturing” is, in itself, vainglorious and bellicose posturing?”

        Nailed.

        By the way, I’m surprised at how much comments you get here Mennoknight.

      • Jim, I have no idea why I get so many comments, especially seeing that your blog gets like 10x the traffic that my blog does.

        Maybe it’s because I’m so antagonistic that people comment out of rage at my idiocy. Either way, I’m sure this blog can be fairly entertaining at times for lurkers.

  3. Lyndon,
    If you wish to demonstrate that Oprah is evil, may I suggest the following?
    September 14th, Thomas Nelson is releasing “Where Has Oprah Taken Us?: The Religious Influence of the World’s Most Famous Woman” by Stephen Mansfield.
    http://www.amazon.com/Where-Has-Oprah-Taken-Religious/dp/1595553088/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1314818793&sr=8-1

    If you go over to http://booksneeze.com/ and create an account, as soon as the book is released, you may request a free copy for the opportunity to read it, review it, and blog about it.

    I can’t wait to read your review. 😉
    – Matthew

    P.S. I’m still waiting for my pierogi.

    • Thanks brudder! I’m already a booksneeze member, but time hasn’t permitted me to do any reviews in the last year or so.

      I’ll watch for Oprah and see what that book says.

      I DO still owe you pierogi. I have a feeling that we’ll have to meet at shepherds conference one day for that debt to be paid!

      • Yeah, I have a booksneeze review I need to write from a year and a half ago. It’s a thoroughly readable history of the world by Doug Wilson where he lets his preterist eschatology show through. Somehow graduating TMS, moving to Brazil, having a baby (my wife takes most of the credit for that part), etc., and actually writing a posting the review became a low priority. But one of these days!

        Hope to see you at ShepConf12!

      • Oh man. You think there’s going to be a Shepherd’s Conference in 2012?

        What about the Mayans? Didn’t they predict that there would be no California, and thereby no Shepherds Conference, in 2012?

        Wait. You’re down in Brazil right? You’re probably only a few hours drive away from whatever ruins contained the original 2012 predictions. Maybe you could drive over there and double check the date and stuff. As far as I know, nobody from TMS has verified the Mayan calculations and predictions…

        …and if ministry has taught me anything, it’s that TMS students are basically the sole judges and protectors of truth, reason and orthodoxy in the known universe.

        We should google talk some time!

  4. Lyndon,
    And this magazine was from 2002. Look where she is in 2011. It may be that she picked up so man different belief systems through her so many friends and guests that she had on her show plus the multiple new age and New concept books that people were pitching at her that she herself lost her first belief system. As a result of all of this she doesn’t have a clue what she believes other than what she’s drawn to and what her emotions tell her. It’s understandable that someone’s faith (I always understood that she was a Christian in the beginning.) could get jaded with the bombardment of all of these other mediums. Additionally (not that I watched much of her) on her shows she always pulled the best out of the authors and the praised the various books with very little respect for consequence and the fact that the beliefs in the books were contrary to previous beliefs. Hmmmm. Sorry about the rant. I love the post mate. I love how much you love God, The Father, Son and Holy Spirit!

    Scott

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