Okay. Alarming news has just been released in Brittian tomorrow!
On Tuesday, December 21st, Santa Claus is found dead.
His headstone has long ago been stolen by vandals but his death records have been found!
Apparently, Father Christmas died on May 30, 1564. This means three things:
1. We all finally know have proof that Santa is dead!
2. I don’t have to wait up on Friday night! Hooray!
3. My dad owes me around 20 years worth of milk and cookies!
Until Next Time,
Lyndon “empirical proof has finally torched my belief” Unger