Shades of Pretty Link Juice UNITE!

I don’t know what Link Juice is.  I suspect it’s something made from putting old “Legend of Zelda” games in a fruit juicer.

I may be wrong.

Either way my delightful wife and I are sick today, and I’ve been commanded by a coughing wife (with very good and well practiced “oh please” neck rubbing that I cannot resist) to give her “link juice” by posting about her new ArtFire store on my theologically oriented blog.

Let’s chalk this up to a well meaning attempt at obeying 1 Peter 3:7.

So, my wife has a new ArtFire store where she’s selling upscaled antique china made into fine english cake plates.  She’s been having a blast researching all the fine bone English (mostly antique) china that she uses, and has been “getting her crizzaft on”, as Snoop Dogg says at most craft fairs in which I’ve seen him (which was only once…and then I woke up…).  She takes crystal and glass candlesticks, and other things that I don’t understand due to testosterone poisoning, and combines them with china for squealably cute things that Jane Austen WOULD buy, if she were alive and living in North America.

So, if you’re a guy(and you’re reading this blog, which really doesn’t draw girls with its subject matter), and you want to impress that lady at your church with something that shows you’re not just a grunting lug who yells while driving at people who “signal like ARMINIANS!”, then you need to buy one of her platters and suggest it as a “cute centerpiece for whenever you and the girls want to have tea”.  You’ll be as popular in the adult singles group as The Gaithers are in the seniors fellowship.

So allow me to help you.

Go.

Buy a cute cake plate.

Give it to her BEFORE the ring.

Don’t tell her where you got the idea.

Marry her head off.

Be fruitful and multiply.

Amen.

Until Next Time,

Lyndon “I chalk this whole insanity up to a severe chest cold” Unger

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