Okay. For those who have been following the Foxconn gong show, we’ve now seen a whole new low in employee motivational strategies in this.
Forget working hard for the company.
Forget showing up sober.
Forget not stealing from your workplace.
Forget every standard of workplace excellence you’ve ever heard.
Now, the official lowest common denominator of doing a “good job” is the sheer absence of suicide in the workplace.
I can only imagine the employee evaluation meetings:
“Mr Hong, we’ve noticed your continued existence on behalf of the company and we’re most pleased! We’d like to thank you with the absence of your regularly scheduled beating!”
“Mr Chow, we’ve noticed that you’ve recently killed yourself on the job and we’re worried that this will be reducing your productivity. We’ve scheduled a meeting with our company exorcist and we’re hoping this will prove a benefit to you.”
Protestant work ethic, eat your heart out!
Until Next Time,
Lyndon “The Armchair Living Employee” Unger